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☆ The Annoying, Go-Getting Colleague: Beat Her or Emulate Her?
▼ + stars: | 2024-05-11 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

Manager 1 and I frequently host trainings, too, but we never thought to brand them and tell the entire organization. Though I am angry she is playing the game better than I am, I don’t want my job to be a game! I prefer to come in and do a good job at my actual job description! But, with all the visibility she earns, I am beginning to feel like the work of my actual job isn’t what matters. There are ways of “playing the game” that don’t feel like you’re playing the game.

Persons: ”, You’re, —

☆ This Ship Is Sinking. Can I Jump to a Client’s?
▼ + stars: | 2024-04-28 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

I’m looking for a new job, and I’ve seen some very appealing openings with current clients. I’d be a great candidate, because I know many of the players, and they know and like my work. We don’t have a noncompete, but I am worried I would further harm my employer if I applied for a job with its clients. Will I accelerate the demise of my current company if I jump ship to a client? — AnonymousYou will not harm your employer by taking a new job with one of its clients.

Persons: I’ve, I’d, noncompetes, I’m Organizations: Self, Federal Trade Commission

☆ Roxane Gay on the Open Letter - The New York Times
▼ + stars: | 2024-04-13 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Open letters are not new; they have served as rhetorical tools for at least two centuries, from Émile Zola’s “J’accuse” to the Rev. Open letters are persuasive arguments, but they are also entreaties. Please, hear me, the writers of open letters implore. I am not a fan of open letters, though I recognize their value. The open letter, as a genre is, in this way, far too limited.

Persons: ”, Martin Luther King Jr, I’ve Locations: Birmingham

☆ But I’m All Grown Up With a Job of My Own
▼ + stars: | 2024-04-13 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

You ProblemsI work in a wonderful environment where everyone cares about everyone … a little too much. Most colleagues are worried I’m going to burn out, which is fair, but I have the energy and capacity they don’t have anymore. You’re simply interested in developing a more robust skill set. This man is no longer your co-worker, so there is little downside to politely telling him you simply don’t have time to socialize when he comes in. Tell him you hope he is enjoying his retirement and wish him the very best in this new chapter of his life.

Persons: …, You’re, it’s, — Locations: eggshells

☆ Work Is (Mostly) Work, Not Your Soapbox
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-30 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +4 min

Generation ZealI work for a health care nonprofit, and there have been some clashes among the five generations in our work force. I had been working in a new role for about six months when my brother was diagnosed, but my company offered to let me work remotely. I return to California for work about four or five times a year. They are paying for your flight because you are going there for work. You certainly could be honest and say you don’t want to hang out, but that might create unnecessary tension.

Persons: you’ve, I’m, Tell Locations: California, Arizona

☆ A Friendly Reminder: A.I. Work Isn’t Yours
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-16 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +4 min

After seeing a recent review with a suspected A.I.-generated set of bullet points, a team member was able to verify that the response had been generated by A.I. The next time someone turns in work generated by A.I. without an appropriate acknowledgment, simply tell them that moving forward, they need to identify all A.I.-generated work. How should they acknowledge and cite A.I.-generated work? How are you going to train managers to identify work that is generated by it?

Persons: it’s, I’m, isn’t, haven’t, Cathy Moore’s, I’d, Julie Dirksen

☆ Feeling Trapped, Swimming in Circles?
▼ + stars: | 2024-03-02 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

I am repeatedly told “you’re essential” and “this place would fall apart without you.” But I also know two people used to do my job. — AnonymousYou’re in a frustrating professional situation where you’re told you are valuable, but you aren’t treated as such. Reach out to your personal and professional networks, as you can, and let them know you’re looking for new employment opportunities. Be specific about what you’re looking for. I don’t know that anyone ever feels empowered to quit, because doing so is precarious.

Persons: “, I’m, you’re, you’ve, can’t, ”

☆ The High Priestess of the Personal
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-20 | by ( Kate Dwyer | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Ms. Jamison, wearing an ethereal blue maxi dress, stood before a projector screen showing 19th-century spirit photography. “Being haunted can be a state of abundance,” she said. “Living in the ghost hotel is a state of abundance. Memories are raw material.”One does not check into a ghost hotel without taking inventory of its specters: “Who are you haunted by?” Ms. Jamison told her students to ask themselves. Ms. Jamison said she became acquainted with each of these while writing her new memoir, “Splinters,” which recounts the birth of her child and the end of her marriage.

Persons: ” Leslie Jamison, Jamison, Ms, Jamison’s, ”, Maggie Nelson, Roxane Gay, Eula Organizations: Columbia University

☆ It’s Lonely at the Top
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-17 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

In my time here, I have had to let two staff members go for behavior issues that were well documented. However, last week I had to lay off one of our full-time managers because of some unexpected shortfalls in revenue. I listened and acknowledged their feelings but was also surprised they didn’t understand that we had to preserve resources for everyone’s benefit. What can I do or not do to help build back trust in our team? — AnonymousYou are running an organization that is, mostly, doing well, but now you’re dealing with one of the many challenges of leadership.

Organizations: Staff

☆ ‘Your Fat Friend:’ New documentary turns unflinching gaze towards anti-fatness
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-09 | by ( Issy Ronald | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +10 min

Rusty could barely bring himself to say the word “fat” when filming for the documentary first began six years earlier. Under the pseudonym “Your Fat Friend,” she began blogging anonymously, spotlighting these ways in which the world makes life harder for fat people. “Just say fat,” Gordon says in an accompanying voiceover, reading aloud one of her essays. “Just say fat,” Gordon says in a voiceover in the film. There’s space for my parents to grow and change, there’s space for the audience to grow and change,” Gordon says.

Persons: Aubrey Gordon, Rusty, “, ”, ” Gordon, Jeanie Finlay, Gordon, Jeanie Finlay “ It’s, sidelong, —, Phil Sharp, ” Finlay, “ It’s, Aubrey, — Pam, Rusty —, Pam grapples, ” Jeanie Finlay “, Gordon’s, Finlay, “ I’ve, Darren Aronofsky’s, Hal ” —, I’m, Roxane Gay, Aidy Bryant, Annie Easton, Fatphobia, Kate Manne, Desiree Burch, Julie Murphy, Jennifer Aniston Organizations: CNN, SNL, Cornell University, Netflix Locations: Europe, Canada, Oregon, proofread, London, Fatness

☆ What’s My D.E.I. Training?My Own Life.
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-04 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +5 min

Would you tell us how you are prepared to work effectively with colleagues and external stakeholders from backgrounds that are different from your own, and to contribute to our commitment to D.E.I.? I am not comfortable disclosing personal information (such as a non-visible disability, background as an immigrant, queer identity, etc.). I commended their commitment to D.E.I., not least because of the range of expertise and complementary skills it brings together. Do some research about different ways to answer this question, and think through how you can answer them using your own voice and perspective. But if there is something worth preserving in this relationship, tell your friend how her comments make you feel.

Persons: ”, “, you’re, she’s, you’ll

☆ Crying at Work and Other Experiments in Emotion
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-20 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

Recently, one of my younger lab members confronted me about how she feels she can’t be her full self at work, in part because she doesn’t feel comfortable crying publicly in our lab space. She also said she thinks we should talk about our feelings and share more about our personal lives. You can foster an emotionally open environment while making it clear that your lab is a professional workplace. Work has to get done and, ideally, that work should be done in a space where people feel safe, seen and respected, while also being held to a standard of excellence. Ask her why she thinks you should talk about your feelings and share more.

Persons: I’m

☆ The winner of a prestigious Japanese literary award has confirmed AI helped write her book
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-19 | by ( Christy Choi | Francesca Annio | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +3 min

CNN —After Japanese author Rie Kudan won one of the country’s most prestigious literary awards, she admitted she’d had help from an unusual source — ChatGPT. The author then confirmed at a press conference that around 5% of her book “The Tokyo Tower of Sympathy” — which was lauded by committee members as “practically flawless” — was word-for-word generated by AI. The novel centers around the dilemmas of an architect tasked with building a comfortable high-rise prison in Tokyo where law breakers are rehabilitated, and features AI as a theme. Kudan said that, in her own life, she would consult ChatGPT about problems she felt she couldn’t tell anyone. “It seems that the story that Rie Kudan’s award-winning work was written using generative AI is misunderstood… If you read it, you will see that the generative AI was mentioned in the work,” he wrote.

Persons: CNN —, Rie Kudan, she’d, “, ”, Kudan, Boris Eldagsen, George R, Martin, Jodi Picoult, John Grisham, James Patterson, Roxane Gay, Margaret Atwood, Keiichiro Hirano, Rie Kudan’s Organizations: CNN, Sony, OpenAI Locations: Tokyo, Berlin

☆ Common Credits Ralph Ellison for Pointing Him Toward Music
▼ + stars: | 2024-01-11 | by ( ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

The Bible, “The Selected Works of Audre Lorde,” edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, and “The Tongue — A Creative Force” by Charles Capps. I’m a believer in God’s word so learning how to apply that was really inspiring and impactful for me. I was really moved by “The Creative Act” because I think Rick Rubin has experienced so much in life. I learned from a musician friend of mine that so many things can contribute to your musical/creative vocabulary, even nature. And after that, “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” and “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills.

Persons: “, Audre, ”, Roxane Gay, Charles Capps, Florence Scovel Shinn, Rick Rubin’s, Florence Scovel Shinn ”, Rick Rubin, who’s, Malcolm X ”, Don Miguel Ruiz, Janet Mills, —

☆ Surviving the Holidays at Work When You Dread the Season
▼ + stars: | 2023-11-10 | by ( Roxane Gay | More About Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +7 min

My boss simply never, ever, ever gives positive feedback. This seems to be fine for most of my colleagues, but I really thrive on positive feedback and always have. Most people benefit from positive feedback and other forms of affirmation, so you aren’t a drip for seeking that. If you need to frame it as positive feedback, you can certainly do so, but there’s no reason you cannot ask your boss for positive feedback in addition to the constructive feedback she provides. The reality is that you do not owe your employer anything but doing good work in exchange for fair compensation.

Persons: I’ve, I’d, don’t, acquit, Roxane Gay Organizations: NASA Locations: New York, workfriend@nytimes.com

☆ When Your Age, and Everyone Else’s, Is Showing
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-28 | by ( Roxane Gay | More About Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +4 min

Just last week, he was giving “pointers” to some of our very seasoned directors, who in turn complained to me. So I have to ask, is there a professional way to tell someone they are too arrogant about their role within a company? I’m all for collaborative work environments, mentoring younger colleagues, and encouraging people to pursue their ambitions for advancement. This new policy feels like they don’t trust us, and it seems overkill to have to check in daily. Corporations often create busywork for one reason or another, and maybe they don’t trust you, but why do you care?

Persons: I’m, who’s, “, that’s Locations: Lane

☆ 92NY Halts Literary Series After Pulling Author Critical of Israel
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-23 | by ( Jennifer Schuessler | More About Jennifer Schuessler | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +6 min

The reading, organized by 92NY’s Unterberg Poetry Center, instead moved to a bookstore in downtown Manhattan, without any sponsorship from the Y. 92NY confirmed afterward that the decision not to go ahead with the event stemmed from Nguyen’s public statements about Israel. On Saturday, as news of the cancellation of Nguyen’s event spread, writers began announcing they would withdraw from upcoming appearances. The poet Paisley Rekdal and the critic Andrea Long Chu also wrote on X that they were pulling out of their events. The turmoil at the Y is part of continuing cultural repercussions over the war between Israel and Hamas.

Persons: Viet Thanh Nguyen, 92NY’s, 92NY, ”, Israel, “, Dylan Thomas, Robert Frost, Langston Hughes, Philip Roth, Salman Rushdie, Toni Morrison, Richard Ford, John Edgar Wideman, Roxane Gay, Christina Sharpe, Saidiya Hartman, Dionne Brand, Paisley Rekdal, Andrea Long Chu, ” Rekdal, ” Chu, Chu, Sarah Chihaya, Sophie Herron, Nguyen, Min Jin Lee, Bernard Schwartz, Schwartz Organizations: Young, Hebrew, Jewish, Yorkers, Academy of American, London, divesting, McNally Jackson Locations: Israel, Manhattan, States, Gaza, Lower Manhattan

☆ George R. R. Martin, Jodi Picoult and other famous writers join Authors Guild in class action lawsuit against OpenAI
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-20 | by ( Jennifer Korn | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +4 min

New York CNN —A group of famous fiction writers joined the Authors Guild in filing a class action suit against OpenAI on Wednesday, alleging the company’s technology is illegally using their copyrighted work. Martin, Jodi Picoult, John Grisham and Jonathan Franzen are among the 17 prominent authors who joined the suit led by the Authors Guild, a professional organization that protects writers’ rights. “Generative AI threatens to decimate the author profession,” the Authors Guild wrote in a press release Wednesday. Two other authors sued OpenAI in June over the company’s alleged misuse of their works to train ChatGPT. Authors should have the right to decide when their works are used to ‘train’ AI,” author Jonathan Franzen said in the release on Wednesday.

Persons: OpenAI, George R.R, Martin, Jodi Picoult, John Grisham, Jonathan Franzen, Mary Rasenberger, “, Sarah Silverman, Silverman –, ” Sam Altman, Rasenberger, James Patterson, Roxane Gay, Margaret Atwood —, ” Organizations: New, New York CNN, OpenAI, Authors, of, CNN, Amazon, Meta, San, Microsoft Locations: New York, Southern, of New York, San Francisco federal

☆ Should I Worry About My Co-Workers Smoking Weed on Break?
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-16 | by ( Roxane Gay | More About Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +5 min

The point of work leave is to leave. A Distinct AromaI recently smelled pot smoke on an associate coming back after a break. I do not smoke weed and never have, so I am not very familiar with the new techniques and forms for smoking it and what it may or may not smell like. I foolishly asked a fellow employee (we have fewer than 10) if he thought the guy smelled like pot smoke. Am I naïve, and uncool in thinking it’s unacceptable to smoke weed during coffee breaks at work?

Persons: don’t, — Locations: imploding, Florida

☆ Time to Expose the Liar at Work?
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-01 | by ( Roxane Gay | More About Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +5 min

It is getting to the point that I’ve considered firing them as a client, but I love their mission — and the work itself is very interesting. You can also tactfully share your concerns with your main contact, outlining how the transitional chaos is complicating your work. I consistently encounter one employee wearing her lab coat completely unbuttoned and wearing a cropped tube top underneath. Safety policies exist for a reason, and asking someone to follow those policies is ensuring that the workplace stays safe and helps to avoid sanctions and/or fines. Part of your job is to pay attention to how your team is adhering to safety policies.

Persons: rashly, you’ve, I’m, You’ve Locations: Boston

☆ An author says AI is ‘writing’ unauthorized books being sold under her name on Amazon
▼ + stars: | 2023-08-10 | by ( Clare Duffy | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +5 min

Others have said they don’t want their work being used to train AI models, which could then be used to imitate them. Amazon removed the fake books being sold under Friedman’s name and said its policies prohibit such imitation. Author Jane Friedman found several books being sold under her name on Amazon, only she didn't write them — she suspects artificial intelligence did. The Authors Guild has been working with Amazon since this past winter to address the issue of books written by AI, Rasenberger said. And, she said, companies and publishers should continue investing in creative work made by humans, even if AI appears more convenient.

Persons: Jane Friedman, I’ve, ” Friedman, —, ” Mary Rasenberger, Rasenberger, James Patterson, Roxane Gay, Margaret Atwood —, OpenAI, Friedman, they’d, Ashley Vanicek, ”, Suzanne Skyvara Organizations: New, New York CNN, Amazon, CNN, Authors, Microsoft, Twitter Locations: New York

☆ My Boss Made Me Post This
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-16 | by ( Roxane Gay | More About Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +4 min

As the weeks passed, I never received an official offer letter or had a discussion about a raise. Nearly two months later, I received my official offer, with no increase in salary, bonus or deferred structure. I still haven’t signed the offer letter. Do you like your job enough to sign the offer letter and see what happens? If your employer can afford to pay everyone else in your organization a full-time salary for working 30 hours a week, they can afford to pay you a full-time salary for working 30 hours a week.

Persons: haven’t, I’m Locations: New York

☆ If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Don’t Be a Reference
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-02 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +4 min

I’m beginning to feel pretty isolated in a workplace I used to feel was quite congenial. Salaries aren’t high, but we get a 2-to-1 match on our retirement plan contributions, which is significant. HR blames the company that administers our retirement plan and says it is working on a fix. Unless they chase that payment, your former colleagues will never see that money, which I’m sure the organization knows. You have to calibrate how upset you get about this and how much you escalate the issue, with how much you care.

Persons: I’m, we’d, It’s, they’ll, Roxane Gay

☆ Some fans have turned on Lana Del Rey. Here's a complete timeline of how the singer soured her own reputation.
▼ + stars: | 2023-06-26 | by ( Callie Ahlgrim | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +32 min

May 2020: Del Rey posted an unprompted public statement about her own reputationIt all began on May 21, four months after she attended the 2020 Grammys, when Del Rey shared a lengthy open letter on Instagram. —Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021—Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021Hardly one to stifle momentum, Del Rey also responded to the Australian blog Tone Deaf, which had published an article criticizing the defense of her album cover. —Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021—Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021Del Rey continued tweeting about her BBC interview, clarifying that she meant to criticize Trump's "significant lack of empathy" and "the issue of sociopathy and narcissism in America." Advertisement—Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021—Lana Del Rey (@LanaDelRey) January 12, 2021She also expressed disdain for negative publicity, citing her "long term relationship" with magazines like Complex and Rolling Stone, calling the former "pathetic." June 24, 2023: Del Rey arrived 30 minutes late to the stage at Glastonbury, telling the crowd, 'My hair takes so long to do'Lana Del Rey performs at Glastonbury Festival.

Persons: Lana Del Rey, Del Rey, —, Norman, Rockwell, Del Rey's, Del, she's, Ariana, Camila, Cardi, Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé, Lizzy Grant, Fader, Helen Brown, Brown, Christine Capetola, Lana, Ashley Reese, YouTuber D'Angelo Wallace, Lana Del, that's, Karen, Wallace, Nichole Perkins, Roxane Gay, Ariana Grande, Cat, Pence, It's, Magdalene, George Floyd, Kehlani, Tinashe, Violet, Noble, lana, frick, preemptively, I'm, Annie Mac, Trump, Donald Trump, Lana stans, Mac, Biden, I've, tweeting, Trump's, Steven Hyden, Ann Powers, Powers, they'd, Judah Smith, megachurch Churchome, Smith, Jack Antonoff, God, desirs, Marie Claire, Chris Pratt, Justin Bieber, Judah, Coleman Spilde, Joseph Okpako, WireImage Del, who's, Let's Organizations: Service, Pitchfork, Independent, Tulane, Trump, Twitter, Country, Billboard, Barnes, CDC, ppl, Michigan, YouTube, Capitol, NPR, Hall of Fame, BBC, Hillsong, Daily, Catholic Church, Glastonbury, Glastonbury Festival Locations: Los Angeles, America, Del Rey's, Del Rey, Churchome, y'all, WireImage Del Rey, Glastonbury

☆ Pride at Work Is Priceless, but It’s Nice to Be Paid
▼ + stars: | 2023-06-18 | by ( Roxane Gay | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

Pronoun EtiquetteIs it OK when first talking alone with a new colleague to ask pronouns to ensure you are referring to them correctly, if it hasn’t already been broached? Asking about pronouns simply removes any ambiguity and ensures that you’re always referring to your colleagues in the manner they prefer. They should value your safety and ensure that you work in an environment that doesn’t tolerate discrimination of any kind. I wish at least some of the time they would affirm my they/them pronouns, which help me feel seen and known. Am I making this too hard for my colleagues by not making a firm request to always use they/them?

Persons: I’m, I’ve, “, ”, Roxane Gay

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